Moms are right.

Listen to your mom.

When it’s after 2am.  Just go to sleep.

That story Cee told told me

That story in the bible that Cee told me, I think I’m the other guy. I don’t remember his name, but I think I’m him.  No matter how much people do me over, I always forgive them. Gomer and Hosea?

Butter Chicken

Butter Chicken, home wood frames,

Both very similiar

They make me think of you.  

Pachabel’s Canon

Feeling kind of sleepy and needing to finish work for my client.  The deadline is near so it’s a sprint to the finish.  I heated up a glass of coffee.  A double shot.  It’s cold today.  I made sure it was really hot.  As I was pouring it down my throat, I flipped on some music  The first title that caught my attention was The Transiberian Orchestra’s reinvention of Pachael’s Canon, Christmas Canon was there.   It’s a soothing music, but it makes me remember why sometimes I hate Christmas.

Some of the worst things have happened to me during Christmas time.  The worst of all was when my best bud, his gf, and Sharon, my gf whom I was about to marry drove down to visit me for Christmas.  They drove down to visit me and died in a car accident. Hit by a big freight truck that last control.  I can never this image out of my head. It took a major toll on my mind and body. This event has changed me forever and to this day I still have a hard time recovering from it. Then there was her mom who said everything is ok, but by Christmas the following  year she wrote me a letter and put everything on me.  And then she commited suicide.  I still feel guilty.  I think about it all the time and Jayme always tells me its not my fault, but I always doubt her.  I love Jayme. She’s amazing, but circumstances like these make things complicating.  She was one of Sharon’s friend so being around her always make me feel really miserable.  Then there was also a few years ago on Christmas Eve.  I got really embarrassed.  She knows I did this for her, but of course that made no difference.  I’ve moved on since then, but I still think about that christmas day also.  That was my Alaskan Christmas.  I spent a lot of time studying Alaska that time.  It was pretty funny when I think about it. She would have loved it.

Live

To live.

Do something you’re afraid of.  AND FAIL!

Favorite person?

Monday:  Met someone in Vegas.  She asked me, “Are you anyone’s favorite person?”  I paused for awhile and finished my drink.  My answer:  No.  I don’t think so.

Tuesday: 

Today:  Ask yourself.  Who’s your favorite person?

EDIT: May 20 2015. Shes no longer in my life. I wish I answerered this last year. Cassie. She was my favorite person

Terrie

This has nothing to do with Burning Man.(Maybe just a little)

 

Yesterday I met this girl at work whom I thought looked a lot like Katherine Harris without the big booty.  She was really cute and into PreMed.  She  later on that nite openly admitted she was lazy and spoiled.  She hung out with me in my office for about 3 hours just hanging out and talking.  She kept making racist comments about asians which I thought was funny.  Asked me how come I don’t got a bowl haircut or wear a red shirt. I didn’t know asian dudes like wearing red shirts!  But guilty as charge, I do have a few red shirts hidden inside my closet.  She won’t know about it for now. 😉  Well she gave me her number and msn screen name.  When I got home that nite, we talked for another 3-4 hours.  It didn’t seem that long at all.  Probably could have stayed longer but I told her I had to sleep at 2 so we both went to bed.  She said she’d lay in bed, squirm a little and MAYBE sleep 2 hours later.  I thought she was wonderful, but I’m not going to be typing the whole back and fourth here.

This morning though, I woke up a bit irritated because my alarm clock woke up for work.  I had such an awesome dream.  That nite we were talking about how her parents won’t let her move out of the house because she’s been owned by a Car and College tuition whom her parents are paying for.  In the dream, she lived alone.  Well kind of.  Her parents apparently owned a middle class italian resturant.  She lived above on the second floor of the resturant.  That’s kind of wierd.  We went and hung out, she invited me for pasta.  After pasta, for some odd reason we went snow sledding…..in the parking lot.  A parking lot with no snow.  We just laid on the sled pushing and pulling each other until her dad, uncle, the cooks walked out to throw away the trash.  Yeah if that’s not wierd, then right on.  I don’t really remember all too much, but it was my turn to take her out the next day.

I had no idea what to do that was out of the ordinary or typical.  I said, “How about Burning Man?”  “What’s that? She said.   I showed her videos of the crazy hippies with their crazy desert cars and she immediately said, “LETS GO!”  We didn’t go though, we hung out somemore at some place.  I can’t remember the rest of the dream, but today is a new day.  She told me she was gonig to sleep in til 11 and hope no one bugs her lazy ass. 😉

Now I gotta cool chick to hangout with.  Her name’s Terri.

 

Peewee

I’ve been sick the last few days with the flu. I seem to get weaker and weaker in health every year. While I was sick, my mom brought me home a new dog. He’s Smokey’s little brother or older brother. Who knows. He’s white and twice the size, but they share the same look. It’s wierd, there were 4 puppies and all of them look very different from each other. Although it’s cute. Every time I look at him, I feel kind of sad. It reminds me of Smokey all the time.

We named him PeeWee. Peewee because everytime my brother touched him, he pissed himself and runs to go hide under my mom’s arms.

That Little Corner

My dog just died. 😦

He was just up in my room biting my feet playing with me as I lightly kicked him around and rubbed his belly. He bit me kind of hard so I yelled at him.  He ran down stairs while I continued doing my homework.  Half an hour later, I went down looking for him  to give him a bath.  I kept looking around for him.  Went outside screaming his name, “SMOKEY!”  I went in the front, I checked under the sofa, under the bed, in every room.  No response.

I went outside and looked in the pond.  I saw him him floating above the surface.  I panicked, grabbed him out real quick, rushed him in the house and gave him CPR.  My parents grabbed out the blow dryer, we tried to resuscitate him.  I started seeing pink liquid coming out of his mouth.  He was bleeding internally and his legs got stiff.  I stood there, my eyes were red and kinda wet, reallizing that he is dead.

My dad wanted to throw him in the trash and that made me sad and I kind of started crying inside a bit.  I thought that was very rude and evil.  He noticed how I was feeling so we decided to take Smokey to the Humane Society to give him a proper burial. 

I loved Smokey because no one did. He’s a pretty bad dog, he doesn’t know how to listen.  It was my uncle’s dog, he gave it to my sister, my sister didn’t like him so my dad took him.  My parents got frustrated with him and wanted to give him away.  I told them to keep it and that he just needed to be taught, he’s not a dumb dog.  So, we had him for awhile, he kept shitting and pissing in the house.  He was a really hard dog to potty train and we were finally making progress now that he stopped pissing and shitting in the house.   

Everyday when I come home from work, he’d run up to me and I’d play with him for a bit before I’d tell him to go away.  Last night I was talking about him with my mom and we laughed because he was trying to listen to us from inside his potty training area.  Today when I got home from work, I saw him running around playing with his biting toy. He tossed it around back and fourth and chased after it.  When he saw me, he ran back inside through his doggy door and waited for me to let him out.  I let him out and he got really excited and ran across the house frantically.  Now I keep thinking of it over and over.  I can’t get the picture of him floating in the pond lifeless out of my head.  It keeps popping in my head. It was a bit traumatizing.  I hope he’s in a better  place and really wish I had given him away instead.  It’s so depressing.  It sucks going down stair and seeing that little corner.

You suck