Too much aggravation in one nite
Too Much Aggravation in One Nite
Ah I’m a little stressed out. People think I do nothing, but I do a lot and never get credit for it. I’m not like my brother where I have to do something infront of people to get notice, I do it when it needs to be done and usually no one is around to notice my merit. I go out of my way just to do things for my mom, but I don’t think anyone at home appreciates what I do for them. It’s not something you should complain about, but man it just gets to you after time. My worth is deliberately ignored. I have so much homework to do, I try to do my best but I never get peace and quiet. As long as I’m home, I can’t isolate myself from these duties my mom request of me. When I’m not in school, I wake up at 8 or 9. The moment I’m up “Deliver this stuff for me,” “Pick this up for me.” I don’t know how much gas money I use up doing all her work. I mean I don’t mind it, but I don’t have the money to pay for gas all the time and I dont have the time to do her work all the time for her and then get criticized for not doing shit around the house. I don’t want to be rude or anything, but what the heck is wrong with you mom? Don’t you see the things I do for you? I go to the bank for her, I make calls for her when she makes mitakes, I fix her bills because she sends them in late, I bring hot fresh food for my nephew at his preschool. I go home, get on the computer, do my homework for what? An hour before I have more things to do? I have to work out to keep healthy and in shape when I have time. A lot of nites, I just have to leave the house to get some fresh air. Sometimes home is not so sweet. I have to have fun sometimes.. You have no life if all you do is work for mommy and shove your face inside a book all day. Hell no, I have a life too, I need time to have fun.
“WHY DONT YOU DO ANYTHING AROUND THE HOUSE???” My response? “Woman….take a chill pill.” haha I do say stuff like that to her sometimes just to get her off her pissy mode. I’m use to the criticism. Just sometimes it would be nice to get credit for what I do. Which is a lot. I’m not doing so well in school these days anymore because my mom has been stressing. I been taking some of her load on me. I don’t like it when my parents are upset. I’m the big bro in the house so I guess I’m always going to be the one that’s going to step up when things go quaky. My bro…all they do is play games. They have very few things to do around the house. My youngest, he does the laundry now and he spends a week doing one laundry. I talk to him sometimes about worrying about school, but he does not listen and just keeps playing. If I had the time he has, I’d be spending that time enriching my mind with something useful, and honing my skills so I can get a freaking job after college. My other brother, he takes a bath for my nephew and thats about it and he complains about having too many shit to do around the house. I want to fucking slap him so much. That’s what happened the other day. I got so pissed at him, I punched his computer chair across the room. The damn chair was metal underneath and it busted my fist pretty badly. My whole fist got all numb half an hour later. But man….that felt great. I don’t hit my brothers, or family at that, but letting my fist eat steel like that really took a load off. I hope I didn’t fracture anything. It still hurts right now but I can type ok for now,unlike yesterday which was owww.
Anyhow, my brother argued with me over an internet connection. I had to dowload a video for class and it slowed the connection down and he was lagging during his fucking pc game. He told me to turn off the download, I told him no. So he unplugged my line. I came over told him to plug that thing back in or I’m going to bust a nut on him. He put it back in, I came back downloaded again and bam….unplugged. Happened 3 times I got pissed off.
He’s always online playing videogames, and being the older brother I let him have his ways all the time. I can’t download shit! Or do anything on the net except read things. I was already stressed out that day dealing with my brother’s car accident. Came home had to deal with my parents and make sure they don’t go over board yelling at the poor kid so it put me in a bad mood. But he(middle brother) goes and unplug my shit. I’m just trying to chill and do my homework at the same time here and that fucker had to put me over the limit. My mom was yelling at him for not paying his insurance, and he responded like a jackass. “Go ahead just sell my car, you can drive me to school everyday.” His face, I wanted to punch it. He complains about me asking for money to get food, but what does he do? He makes my parents pay for his fucking car and insurance. When I yelled at him, he said I had an attitude? What attitude? In my opinion, I think I’m very cool and laid back. I don’t give anyone an attitude unless I’m playing around. But him…a lot of pppl hate his ass and I always stick up for him. I dont know why I even bother. Then what put me over the board was when he said I was fucking lazy. “What the fuck did you say? What the hell do you do around the house? Sit and play your fucking game?” He responds, ” I hardly play games.” This Little fugger is oblivious to reality. He needs to watch himself, what he does and what he says. It’s like he doesn’t notice what he does. I lost my mind and started cussing at him fuck this fuck that haha. He’s like “yeah yeah blah blah whatever.” Instinctively, I punched the chair and it flew passed him.” My mom came over crying coz we were fighting. Started yelling at me saying I’m cussing her out. I’m like mom! Fuck you doesnt refer to you! I don’t know why she gets on my back for saying that. Him, he says mother fuck this mother fuck that out of no where. He cusses profusely. Almost every single sentence and it always has the phrase mother fucker in it. And why when I just say “fuck you” to him once and I get clawed on. Things are unfair here. Anyhow, he took off out the house and my dad started lecturing him. I over heard what my dad said and it made me a little happier. He’s the only one that understands me. He’s quiet and doesn’t talk much, but he acknowledges me. He yelled at my brother. “YOU called him lazy?? What do you do around the house? All you do is sit in your room and sleep or play videogames. When we ask you one simple thing, you complain! You act like a king in this house. You complain about ppl but why dont you listen to yourself.? You tell us to wake you up for school at 8 but you wont even wake up! We can’t even touch a dollar from you, and you want us to pay for your car and your insurance?? blah blah blah.” After that he hadn’t talked to me yet. But you know what? Who cares. He’s not the one that should be pissed, I should be. He’s the only one I really ever lose my mind to. If he’s got one talent, then its the ability to piss me the hell off.
Anyhow, a lot of times ppl talk about how I don’t graduate yet. How I’m not making real money yet like other ppl. Well news flash, I’m not other ppl. I’m me. I don’t learn as fast as ppl do. I try just as hard. Most of these guys have complete time to themselves, while more than half my day is dedicated to unmerit responsibilities. I know there are way more ppl with way tougher situations, but in my mind, the boulder on my shoulder feels just as heavy as the one on theirs. If I had all the time those jackass’ have, I can almost guarantee that I can define my place in that crowd of successful people.
On top of all these, I ordered a guitar today. There’s this tune I been wanting to play for the longest time. I had Wes help me pick out the guitar. It’s a beginner’s guitar but he said it’s still pretty good. He’ll be teaching me how to read and write music so that’s going to be another thing that’ll keep me occupied. Man, there’s so much thing I’m trying to learn, hope it doesn’t give me a brain leak. 🙂
One last thing. I lost 2000 bucks. Had to pull it out of the bank for my mum today. Went to the mall with a friend coz she wanted jeans….and my wallet got stolen. Security guard got back the wallet, but the money was no where. On top of that, I just sold my laptop for 2000. Even trade? I think not. Year of the Rooster.