Archive | November 2004


Temptation:  First Nodal Point

Growing up, I’ve always been aware of people’s character. What I notice most is how people change in the way they act, and the way they are dressed. We grow up being peer pressured and end up acting the way we do, or doing whatever it is that we’ve been influenced to do whether we would admit it or not. We’re either in refusal or just sucked into a trend by our classmates, our siblings and even our parents. Beginning high school, I became even more aware of my need for attention so I shunned it. I started acting like I don’t care about what people thought so I dressed the way I wanted, stayed quiet and not to try and get attention from making a scene. I basically damned myself from falling victim to peer pressure, but all along I’ve already in it’s grasp. I, along with half the school population wanted to be different and free from the peril of trends, but all a long we’re starting our own trend of individuality.
After awhile, I wanted what people have and do what they do. I wanted to go out, get drunk and wasted, get stoned, get the newest pair of sneakers at the mall and be a typical teenager and have fun without worrying about what others think.
Within my household, I’ve tossed a side my cultural roots. Growing up in the U.S. of A, I’ve been brainwashed by society in thinking that, ” If you’re not white, you’re not tight and if you’re not brown you’re not down.”
From that, I was ashamed to be Vietnamese and was afraid to speak my own tongue in public for a long time. It’s not until I’ve matured that I felt ashamed of myself for rejecting my roots. By rejecting my roots, I rejected myself and my family just so that I would fit in the white man’s land. Even now, I feel a sense of shame for not being able to have what people value.


Self improvement

Self Improvement

Hey well, I woke up early this morning and headed to Fry’s Electronics.  When I woke up, I was hesitant on going or not, but ended up going anway when I shouldn’t have.  I found out you can order what I got online for the same price at  Well isn’t that a bitch? O well, I ordered another one. πŸ™‚  Anyhow, semester is going to an end and I’m not exactly sure what to do during winter break yet.  I was hoping to take intersession classes, but at the moment no money so I can’t.  Other than that, the last few semesters I’ve been scrambling enough to improve a lot on my work.  Hopefully I’ll make an animated short sometimes soon and maybe this summer I can finally get a script for a movie I plan on making.    Besides that, nothing new  happened.   Besides Jayme whos more like a friend with benefits, I hadn’t gone out on a date for awhile.  She’ll be coming down to San Jose to visit me soon since I hadn’t been to Frisco for awhile.  We’re gonna hang out before her graduation and then I’m gonna be spending all day with her on her graduation day which is soon and right before winter break.  In January she’ll be headed to Los Angeles for work and I might not see her for quite awhile.  Honestly though, I probably won’t miss her much.  We’re not close as we use to be anymore.  I stopped going to Frisco so I can’t hang out with anyone anymore.  As much as I like being there with the guys, I’m just not learning fast enough from teacher’s lectures.  The online classes I been taking has been vastly improving me so much I don’t want it to end.  Must make sacrifices for self improvements, but hopefully that won’t be too much of a sacrifice.

Oh…and I had a wierd dream last nite, or this morning even.   I cant remember what it is again, so thats the end of it. πŸ˜‰

PS:  I been eatting poorly again.  Been eating just one big meal a day and its making me fat again.   Must make a mental note to get back on track. πŸ™‚

Suspicious Faces

Well……………….there’s been stuff that came  up, but I’ve been lazy to write. πŸ™‚   I even benched 300 lbs 2 weeks ago, which was a mile stone for me because it’s always been close to reality, but I tend to keep letting it drop away from my reach.  I would have been able to do that 3-4 summers ago but the rain messed everything up.  Anyhow, I finally did it though so that’s good. πŸ™‚ I also found a new diet to lose weight.  Basically, its to EAT MORE!  The more I’ve been eating, the more weight I’ve been losing.  My metabolism has been sky rocketting, I lossed almost 20 lbs already.  I’m not even sure if thats a good thing or not haha. 

ANYHOWWWW…..time for the bad news.  Today my neighbor from the back came over to  our side of the neighborhood and gave us all flyers saying that he got robbed twice already this months so stay alert for any suspicious looking people.  The guy broke into his window from the backyard and could have came in from our yard.  Sometimes I see our gate to the backyard opened at night when it should have been closed.  At night when I go to take a piss or even take a giant  humongous ass tearing shit, I can hear something moving in the backyard.  Being half asleep and all, I didn’t care to check.  Maybe someone comes in at nite.  Who knows…

I’ve seen a few suspicious faces lurking around the area sometimes, but I don’t really give it much notice.   Sometimes I see this mexican guy riding his bike around our court area just looking around as I was about to leave.  Just last week I saw the same guy riding his bike up my neighbor’s driveway and dropped  it there.  He looked towards the front door all suspisciously then went towards the backyard, reached over and lodged it open.  When he saw me earlier, he looked at me and gestured a “whats up”,  so I reciprocated.   

Back to what happened again.  Later that day my next door neighbor came over.  He’s a white guy that rents my next door neighbor’s room.  He told us that the other guy gave him a flyer alerting him.   Well my mom was the one that got the message.  He told us to watch out, because some white guy came into the house, started eating stuff in the fridge and leaving shit on the table.   He came in and saw him during day light so that was pretty wierd.  He didn’t know who it was so he didn’t really say anything until the guy took off I think.  I’m not sure, my mom didn’t tell me the story really well.  Anyhow, the guy wasn’t sure whats happening, because my neighbor, they always border their rooms out to people all the time so…..its sometimes hard to tell who lives there with them.

My mom was arguing about it with me this morning when the guy gave us the flyer telling us to stay alert.  She’s all telling me dont even worry, why would someone go through our backyard to jump into someone’s house blah blah and that he should watch out for his own house.  I was like MOM!!! come on, it could happen to us, we watch their back they watch our back.  But man she keeps talking and talking making fun of me for considering it.  She’s like telling im dumb and letting him accuse us.  I told her, he’s not accusing  us, just telling us to stay cautious.   But noooOooo she wouldnt listen.  She’s my mom, and mom’s are always right.  Then finally when my next door neighbor told her about it, shes all scared.  SHOULD have listened to me in the first place. πŸ™‚ 

I’ve seen many more faces too.   There’s this black guy that looks like a bum.  He walks around our neighborhood and stops at these filipino family with rice rockets’ house and just walk around the car with no one there.  Of course though, on occasion I do see him talk to them so maybe he lives there with them?  Seems kinda wierd but hey, he probably does.   ANDD there’s this vietnamese kid I see once in awhile walking outside the street.  I saw him on Shadow Fax Rd harrassing a girl, when I came back half an hour later, he was hand cuffed by the cops that were there.   He came into our court area a few months ago and tried to still one of my neighbor’s honda emblem.  He would have gotten away with it if I wasn’t there I think.  He looked around the car all coy so I looked at him and slowly drove away.  He saw me and just sat down and lit a cig giving me an eye.  Minutes later I came back just to see if he’s still there.  I saw him walking around the back of the car again and I approached him.  He hopped on his bike tossed his cig on the ground and looked at me like a bitch and pedaled away.  

But yeah…..People BEWARE!

eXpressive: 4/10
Practical: 5/10
Physical: 3/10
Giver: 2/10

You are a RPIT–Reserved Practical Intellectual Taker. This makes you a Love Geek.

Heh heh — you love geek! You are weirdly sexy. It doesn’t take people a long time to get to know you, but people *think* it takes a long time, because you are as cool and regulated after a year as you are on a first meeting. You don’t tend to date casually — you just suddenly find yourself in long term relationships.

Your approach to conflict is your greatest asset — it complements almost every other type. You don’t express yourself or your feelings in dramatic terms, but you will speak up to those who do. You are generally calm, but capable of ramping up, and you don’t give up until the issue is resolved — this means even the hottest temper or coolest conflict-avoider can feel comfortable pursuing their satisfaction with you. And you don’t hold a grudge — you get through it, and it’s done. You rock.

Sure, you like the sex. And you communicate with your partner well, so you’re good at it. But it’s not something you would make jokes about or bring up in polite company (not that you don’t appreciate that kind of humor). You’re no prude, but that’s just not your style.

You’d make an excellent parent.

You enjoy food and can be a ravenous eater. A good cook will get your attention quickly.

Of the 148208 people who have taken this quiz, 5.4 % are this type.

Anyhow, saw “The Incredibles” today, coolest Pixar movie ever.

Did some other stuff too, but too lazy to talk, brain needs sleep…

Alexs cute teacher

Alex’s cute teacher

I went to go bring Alex his food at the preschool today and man the kids there were extremely inquiring.  They kept asking me questions, blah blah blah.  It was really cute though, I kinda had fun.  This one kid kept asking me a buncha question.  “Are you alex’s dad?”  “Are you alex’s uncle?” “Do you know the teacher’s name?”  Man he kept was funny…haha  I kept answering too.  When I first got in the class, this little kid showed me his drawing, I gave him a thumbs up.  He came closer right next to me and started drawing and showing me more and he drew me and I was like wow nice blah blah… it was funny.  Anyways, I was hoping to see this teacher of his…. she’s fucking cute and beautiful.  All the kids there loved her, kept climbing her lap and sitting on it and kissed her and she’d kiss them back.   I actually talked to her the other day when Alex didn’t want to go home because Power Ranger was on.  That gave me a chance to sit down and just talk.  She took the innitiative to talk to me.  She was telling alex im waiting for him and blah blah and im like “Yeah Alex im waiting for you.” I said something pretty funny but I can’t remember and she laughed and started talking to me for a bit but then I left. Just a short convo but she seemed really nice.  As I was saying…. I didn’t see her today.  Only saw his old lady teachers which kinda sucked, but they were cool though, they talked to me when I was with alex giving him his lunch.  Still, I wish that chic was still there.  I usually see her everyday, but she gone bye bye that day. lol    O well im off to bed.

PS: I need more work and more money. πŸ™‚