Loneliness after disneyworld

Loneliness after Disneyworld

It’s been almost a week since we’ve gotten back from the Florida trip we planned months in advance.  I been feeling kind of empty since the return.  The trip to me, brought back a lot of memories from when I use to hang out with friends.  I kept thinking about the highschool times my friends and I just sat in their room drinking and joking around saying extremely crude shit to eachother and laughed. 

I remember when we use to cut school just to go to school again.lol  This one time during lunch or so, we went to Santa Teresa High school and saw a crowd gathering around in the front  lawn.   We’re like woh is there a fight or something?   I ran up through everyone and this white couple were like fucking their brains out on the lawn haha.  I was shocked, stood there watching for a few seconds before everything was broken up.haha it was great.  We came back to my school that same day and this guard at the school stopped us.  He was a huge guy.   Each of his arms were almost the size of my body, it’s girth stretched his   white collared security polo shirt while his legs were small and hardly noticeable.  He asked us, “Do you guys go here?”   I’m like, “Yeah, sometimes.”  He got pissed and kept asking all these questions and blah blah.   There were so many memories I have during high school years.  The worst memory I have at the time was when my friend got killed.  It was a shock to us all.  It haunted and changed me.  After that incidents, my friends and I gradually split up and never saw eachother again after high school.   Some of them matured, got married, some went to college and some just never grew up and started hanging out with different people and stayed drunk til now and are traitors.  You don’t find out who really are your friends until after high school and I found out most of who I hung out with were never really my friends.  As for me, I’m still trying to find peace in myself, but its been unattainable with all these twist and turns that’s been fucking with my head the past few years.  I almost gave up at one point because people kept questioning my motives and doubting that I can do what I sent myself out to do.  I just want people to just shut up and keep to themself so I can find my own way in life on my own pace.  I’ve changed so much.  I’m not outgoing like I use to be, I’m so shy now and I’m such a momma’s boy.  I’ll make something of myself one day, and I’m going to show them all.

As for the Disneyworld Trip, I thought it was great.  I loved hanging out with these guys.  To me, the best part of the trip was the time in the hotel.  We actually got to sit around just talking.  What I remember most from thet trip was when Oui scared the shit out of me.  We were trading ghost stories and then I had my focus on this alarm which was on the wall.  Oui came from the side in the dark w/out me even noticing at all.  Pounced at me and screamed.  I yelled and froze.haha  That was really embarrassing but it was fun.  That was probably my favorite nite in a long time.  I need some friends to do these kinda things again.  I really miss it.

To me, loneliness is a persons’ worst enemy. Without anyone, you have no competition to better yourself. You have no motivation, no stride in life. When you’re alone, you just don’t feel like doing anything. The world dies on you, you die. There is no more substance.


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